My initial reaction to this was, “Everyone calm the fuck down.”
But then I thought about it.
It is disturbing that we neither have a term that is equivalent to ‘slut’ that refers to the masculine nor does is the word ‘slut’ gender/sex neutral.
Use of the word ‘slut,’ which is a sex-divisive and subsequently disparaging word, is not good.
If martinmgn.tumblr meant that he doesn’t want to date a woman whose behavioral and moral standards he finds unfavorable, then that is what he should have said — but consider whether that is worth saying. The ‘#respectyourself,’ I think, is well-intended, but that makes this statement an all the more disturbing reflection of what goes on in our real-life and net culture.
daniel you are the best.
i feel like the idea of “sluts” and the fact that they are frowned upon has a lot to do with the objectification of women and the need of some men to control them.
like the popular double standard: “MY FUTURE BRIDE MUST BE A PURE VIRGIN but yeah i totally fucked all the girls in college. i would never marry those sluts though lolz.”
it has to do with the idea of women as property. no man wants used goods, amirite?
it also echoes the idea of female sexuality being inherently wrong or bad, and that the only way for a women to be pure is if she denies her own sexuality completely.
it’s pretty gross and reminiscent of the 50’s and 60’s. which are actually really fascinating decades for that reason. but i digress. the point is that i get a bit tired of all the female-specific insults, and the way the media is constantly reinforcing this mentality. i appreciate my guy friends that put thought into this and can understand this kind of stuff.
my friends who use words like ‘feminist’ and ‘lesbian’ as if they are hateful insults? not so much. your misogyny is showing. :/
so guys (and porobably-well-meaning-but-still-mildly-offensive guy in the picture), it’s cool if you prefer not to date “slutty girls”. just don’t be totally shocked when ladies you do want to date tell you they don’t want to date misogynists with extremely archaic opinions.
Lick and Lather. SFMOMA. Chocolate and Soap bust self-portraits by Janine Antoni.
2 sides of the contradictory ideal female:
1) Chocolate - The Lick
Dark, earthy, delicious, messy, sensual, passionate, sexy, touchable, touched.
2) Soap - The Lather
Pale, pure, clean, cleansing, healing, innocent, infantile, untouchable, untouched.
When I saw this, I recognized her. Jane Antoni is me.
Asian women, even in the media I consume, are either over-sexualized or infantilized. I am either exotic sex vixen, or I am a cute child. In anime or manga, they attempt to mix soap and chocolate, but the mixing does not give women any sexual power. It is further male fantasy that men can have both. The soap and chocolate stay in separate chunks: a cute child-like woman who blushes and is embarrassed, yet dangerously and shockingly pleasured by sex, or a woman with a luscious body whose mind is of a 5-year-old about sex and love.
It isn’t surprising that young women decide on which one they want to be to boys, Chocolate or Soap (key prepositional phrase representative of the male gaze here, “to boys”).
“it also echoes the idea of female sexuality being inherently wrong or bad, and that the only way for a women to be pure is if she denies her own sexuality completely.” - danyerr
I have to say I decided on Soap based on my spiritual upbringing. After sexual awakening (awakening, mind you, not when I lost my virginity, whatever you consider that, which is another conversation), I was already a bit freaked out and wondered if I was somehow Chocolate (the tension was unnecessary and should be unnecessary). When I was smart enough to do so I chose Power. Then I realized the Power women have is either through Power by Chocolate (sexual attractiveness) or Soap (ideal purity), and thus, in the perspective of society, I have only achieved some muddied soap that is neither delicious nor useful.
